<< Looking back [#] `-
Saturday, September 30, 2006
I am cold
Through and through
You cannot affect me
With your words
Nor your actions
Nor your touch
Nor your heart
I need to focus
Thank you
<< *take my hand*
11:28 PM
back to the past; *
- ~*~*~*~-
Thursday, September 28, 2006
So now
my heart is hardened.
hopefully not against God nonetheless
but you can be sure
i hate you so
for doing things to me
this way
and never doing other things
that violate
but would at least show
that you wanted me
but i love you
for loving me
for loving what i loved
for loving me more than you loved urself
but all that
is history
but i can't let you go
maybe i can't
maybe i just don't want to
i said before
that the person who makes me forget you
will be the one i love
but maybe i won't love then
cos' i still duno how to forget you
i still wanna love you
i still wanna give to you
i need you to know
that i wanna walk away
leave you there the way you are
but i know
that you just have to cry one tear
call my name
and i'll be back
it's like a chain
your voice
i should not be bound
by a person who is reckless with my heart
and with his own
now what?
cry in my sleep like u did?
no i will not.
i'm gonna be big strong me
who will probably fall eventually anyway
if i dun have my King in me.
Though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along
<< *take my hand*
10:00 PM
back to the past; *
- ~*~*~*~-
Friday, September 22, 2006
Hello I'm Still Here
It's been like this
Since forever
Thought you had changed
For the better
I don't know
If I still bother
When, Where, How
And Whether
It's been too long
And this strained song
I know is so darn overdue
But I'm not gone
Or getting a move on
Cos' my eyes still remain on you
Hello
Is the word on my mind
Why
The heck do I still cry
Help
Before I die
I'm not okay
I won't try to lie
It's been so long
And this lame song
They think it's all emo and blue
I'm really not fond
Of struggling to hold on
But I won't let go of you
Refrain:
Teach me how
To believe again
I can't live on now
If I can't live thru this pain
To stick to my vow
Perhaps I'm insane
But we'll make it somehow
My smiling sunshine after the rain
It's amazing how songs like these can just spring forth from nowhere.
Try 10min.
Lord I know You're still You, but i'm just tired, pardon me.
I can't really rant outright abt the stuff i feel anymore
Just doesn't seem right
Can't force it down her throat
Neither is it appropriate to throw it back at him.
Nor open up his wounds again.
Lab today was nuts. Kept seeing foot-stepping replay before me.
Chem today was nuts. Kept seeing begging for permission before me.
Maths today was nuts. Kept seeing that beautiful visage before me.
Chinese today was nuts. Kept hearing that gentle voice surround me.
So sick of the way you can just make everything trival again.
Monotonous replies, avoidances,
And that fake oblivion you always knew how to do so well
It used to be sweet,
Not anymore, please.
Look at this manipulation,
Of the sacred emotion,
There's really no sensation,
In my heart's mutilation.
Thank u baby, ur gettin good at this.
"*formalities*. jiayoux then. chao sian tonight."
"haha nite then!"
Indeed, such a good good night.
I can even see the shooting stars headed for the North Pole
What if they burn out and the light goes out before they arrive?
They crash into the sea, of course.
LONG time, LONG post,
it's gonna be a LONG night.
i just dun wanna be missing you tonight
<< *take my hand*
10:57 PM
back to the past; *
- ~*~*~*~-
Sunday, September 17, 2006
My Everything
Jesus, everything to me
This aint the way it ought to be
Day by day as i live,
I find myself wanting more than this
Long ago i said i'd let go of it all
Into Your hands now, even if i fall
I want You to be all i need
Rescue me once again, i plead
And as i walk
Be my light that keeps on shining
As i run,
Be my strength to keep on going
As i fly
Be my wings to keep me soaring
As i break, cry and fall into Your arms
All over again
Be my Everything
Healer, the one who made me whole
As i seek You back, draw me close
Each and every step that i take,
Without You i know i'm sure to break
I'm sorry i let this stubborness creep in
Filling my hunger, with pride and sinn
I pray that You will wash me clean
To know what trusting You really means
We're living in a fallen world
Where promises, patience and peace don't belong to many
But as i try my very best
Merely to survive
Let me not forget,
that it's all not by my might
you are harder to agape then he was and ever will be
<< *take my hand*
8:33 PM
back to the past; *
- ~*~*~*~-
Thursday, September 07, 2006
As much as i need expression
I will limit it
For your sake my friend.
The knowledge of all these
Pierces the heart more than anyone can imagine
But i haven't shed a single tear
Because i'm brave in Christ.
There are reasons why everything happens
There are reasons for my pain
There are reasons for your pain
There are reasons for his pain
There are reasons for His pain too
The only one who takes away this hurt
And actually has the power to do it
Is Jesus alone
And btw, thank You Lord for being my strength =)
It's by no means easy
Doing the things i'm doing
Loving the people i'm loving
Saying the words i'm saying
But in all i do,
My life is a worship unto Him
And when God is the centre
EVERYTHING else falls in place
Hide me now
Under Your wing
Cover me
Within Your mighty hands
Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are King over the flood
I will be still & know You are God
and I will live my life for Him
<< *take my hand*
2:24 PM
back to the past; *
- ~*~*~*~-
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Augen Wieder Zu
Irgendwann hast du begonnen
Dein eigenes Film zu drehen
Ich machte die Augen zu
Das wollte ich nicht sehen
Je ne comprend pas
Je ne peux pas
Mais seulement je sais,
Que je veux toi seul
It's so unfair.
Just so unfair.
But i have to live with it
If He wants it this way,
For now at least
I wanna know
What it's like, to cry in your arms
To feel safe, warm, protected
After so long on this weary journey
It's like a desert road.
Filled with mirages
Filled with blisters
Filled with burns
Filled with grazes
Filled with anguish, languish
No one would choose this path
Unless travelling on the bandwagon of insanity
But i still indulge anyway,
Sanely, i choose you over all else
The sole oasis,
Until rain falls again
But the greatest irony --
You're the only one who understands my pain
Yet you are the one who inflicts it unwillingly
I know it's tough on you
So in this battle called Life
May i fight by you in yours
And one day,
May you fight by me in mine
"I thank Him, for He has placed an angel in my arms"
Unfair.
Some people, they have it all
<< *take my hand*
4:30 PM
back to the past; *
- ~*~*~*~-
Monday, September 04, 2006
Grateful
Though no words can express
Where i am now
Where we are now
Where we are going now
Where all this will end up now
I give thanks
To you, and to You.
For once in 8 months,
I feel secure with us.
Not because things are the way they were,
They are not,
But because things are a new way now,
A way i treasure alot more than our old way.
I'm still me.
You're still you.
We are still who we were.
But different.
Where this goes now
I duno.
But i let go
To my King
Jesus,
Have the honor
Of taking the wheel once again
As usual =)
Will i ever be enuf for u..only God knows.
<< *take my hand*
10:12 PM
back to the past; *
- ~*~*~*~-