<< Looking back [#] `-
Friday, November 12, 2004
::ENUF K??
look.its not fair ok?
ur going so happy,when ur making sumone cry all nite.
i cant do anythn to help tt person, cos he only wants u.
cant u sense it? n stop going all "im so satisfied about life"
i noe he behaves like an idiot sumtimes,n u do hv e rite to get irritated,
bt all in all, why does he do tt?its cos he loves u.
n cant u jus try to be nice for once?
i noe exactly how it feels.iv gone thru worse.tts y i dun wan him to suffer.
after all, he was my godbro for a point of time,until evrythn jus blew.
i stil duno why til this day. bt e least u cud do is try to make him feel better??
n abt applying for tt thing. i noe wat u tld sumone els.u tld her sumthn tt made me feel hurt k?
reason number ONE why i applied despite being late: i tot u wanted me there.
evrythn u said made me feel lik u wanted me there.
bt who wld hv known?u tld her:if phoebe goes,ok.evn if she doesn,it doesn matter.
helo?!! it doesn matter?! why didn u tel me earlier then??
i reali cant stand ur ingenuine self anymore. wil u stop behaving lik tt?? PLEASE??
i dun care abt e past. jus dun do this anymore. its hurting EVRYONE who REALI noes u.
seriously..i reali reali hate leaving in this kinda routine life.
a life whereby i get all worried abt sumone, try to help tt sumone,
get totali hurt by tt person who says:"u can help by not helping",
and then go back to feelin upset.
i dun wana wallow in self pity k? u tink its nice?! u tink i dun wana walk out of this??
why r u like this? why do u jus hv to show urself better than me??
why cant u jus be there for e person who loves u as well?
if u ask me why i bother so much, wel il tel u.
u shd noe very well how much i love him. as a brother,as a fren, WHATEVER.
im jus super concerned abt him.
bt however, he's only super concerned abt u. u and u alone. yet e main cause of his misery is u, jus like e main cause of my misery is him.
he's a guy. fine if he's insenstive. bt u. if ur as mature as u appear,or try to appear,then stop behaving lik tt.
please.plus, ur jus nt showing ur true self in front of evryone k? im reali reali sick n tired of watching u badmooding, when u hv NTHN to be upset abt k? u dun evn seem sad to leave ur frens,n e guy u supposedly like is crazy over u, uv got a good family, wats ur problem?? if u hv a problem, at least tel me when i ask u. why do u hv to jus tel me there's nthn when u keep badmoodin e whole day???
honestly, ur much luckier than me. ppl i love, dun exactly love me back. uv got tt. n tts sumthn u shd treasure.
i duno why i bother so much abt him, when he doesn appreciate it n he wans me to stop. u shd be REALI REALI happy tt uv got his attention n love. its sumthn il NEVER have. n its sumthn u shd cherish. i wld give anythn besides my Heavenly Father, in order to have him jus be concerned abt me. yet ur nt satisfied n nt happy with him pining for u day n night. if nt bcos i had God,i wld hv probably sunken into depression. it doesn feel good k? bt im fine, cos i dun need anyone bt Jesus. n one more thing..those stuf u say on ur blog..quit it..it jus makes ppl feel reali reali upset..please..im in a sense beggin u. tts it now. in a reali pissed off mood. sumone jus shut me up.//
<< *take my hand*
9:30 PM
back to the past; *
- ~*~*~*~-