<< Looking back [#] `-
Saturday, November 27, 2004
haha..this is reali strange..bt its kinda cute too..=)..its jus temporal..yep..love e sheep thing tho..ahaha.=p..love u all sisterhood n a.f.=) u ppl rock!
*HUGS* Total!
give -phoEbE- more *HUGS* please..=)
Get hugs of your own
<< *take my hand*
10:25 PM
back to the past; *
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<< *take my hand*
10:18 PM
back to the past; *
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Tuesday, November 23, 2004
::[When it's quiet..When it's dark..]*
when it's quiet..when it's dark,
i ask myself..
is this what i want?
is this who i am?
this is not me.
the light of hope is going dim
when i'm in the company of no one
i think of u, and i miss u.
yet..all i can do now, is be an on-looker
watching this tale of two seemingly star-crossed lovers
how i antagonize evrythn..
as if if not for me, all would have been beautiful blooming spring
Wherefore seeketh thou an unreproached love
When up in the tinted sky,
dwelleth a God who cuddles you in His bosom,
reassuring u of His love?
who then do you need?
same goes for her..
all along cold,
now only regretting when love hath shattered departed henceforth.
love is not blind. love makes a heart blind.
love makes you foolish.
love causes more pain than ever.
"it is better to have loved, than never to have loved before"
i think not. it is better not to have loved before, if love lasts not forevermore.
the only love to be sought after..is thy Heavenly Father's.
I'm turning back. suit yourself.
<< *take my hand*
2:35 PM
back to the past; *
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Monday, November 22, 2004
My Child..
You may not know me, but I know everything about you
..Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up
..Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways
..Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered
..Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image
..Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being
..Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring
..Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived
..Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation
..Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book
..Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live
..Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made
..Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb
..Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born
..Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me
..John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love
..1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you
..1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father
..1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could
..Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father
..Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand
..James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs
..Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope
..Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love
..Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore
..Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing
..Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you
..Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession
..Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul
..Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things
..Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me
..Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart
..Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires
..Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine
..Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager
..2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles
..2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you
..Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart
..Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes
..Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth
..Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus
..John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed
..John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being
..Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you
..Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins
..2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled
..2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you
..1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love
..Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me
..1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again
..Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen
..Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father
..Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…Will you be my child?
..John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you
..Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad. Almighty God
<< *take my hand*
1:11 PM
back to the past; *
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::LTC 2004
LTC was really really a great learning experience. For some reason tt God had, i was put in a REALLY quiet group. A.F..u guys noe im like super noisy when im with u all n practically with evryone i noe..*winks at 2M*..bt like..i jus cudn start tlkin when i was with Gideon(tts my grp). Gideonites..im so sori i was super quiet..i reali felt uneasy too. Thk God there were ppl lik nicole n elyssa(i got ur name now..=p). maybe we're jus slow n take a longer time to bond..i trust tt thru e future meetings we hv for tt project..we'll probably become much closer n..i will probably get much noisier..>.<..haha..well then..i love you Gideonites!!=D
Ok..n there's this misconception thing. i jus realized how misleading all these stuf on my blog is when ernie tlkd 2 me. NO i am NOT attached. its jus sumthn els..like a brother sort of thing..so yea..dun start thinkin otherwise.
N my dearest A.F, i hope u ppl liked e letters. =). maybe we can out nex week or sumthn..see first la..il be leaving on e 30th n jam's probably gone by now..so yea..haha..she didn evn sms gdbye lor..tt girl..*tsk tsk*..anyways. *grinz*..haha..im feeling bored. gota do e rest of our hol hmwk soon...so yep..u guys better get started too.
Gota buzz now! God bless n Take care!!
Cheerio =D
<< *take my hand*
1:00 PM
back to the past; *
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Sunday, November 21, 2004
::Be Thou My Vision
Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me save that thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
Waking or sleeping thy presence my light.
Be thou my wisdom, thou my true word
I ever with thee, thou with me, Lord
Thou my great Father, I thy true Son
Thou in me dwelling, and I with thee one.
Be thou my battleshield, sword for the fight
Be thou my dignity, thou my delight
Thou my soul's shelter, thou my high tower
Raise thou me heavenward, O power of my power.
Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise
Thou mine inheritance, now and always
Thou and thou only, first in my heart
High King of heavem, my treasure thou art.
High King of heaven, after victory won
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's sun
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall
Still be my vision, O ruler of all.
<< *take my hand*
11:20 PM
back to the past; *
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Friday, November 12, 2004
::ENUF K??
look.its not fair ok?
ur going so happy,when ur making sumone cry all nite.
i cant do anythn to help tt person, cos he only wants u.
cant u sense it? n stop going all "im so satisfied about life"
i noe he behaves like an idiot sumtimes,n u do hv e rite to get irritated,
bt all in all, why does he do tt?its cos he loves u.
n cant u jus try to be nice for once?
i noe exactly how it feels.iv gone thru worse.tts y i dun wan him to suffer.
after all, he was my godbro for a point of time,until evrythn jus blew.
i stil duno why til this day. bt e least u cud do is try to make him feel better??
n abt applying for tt thing. i noe wat u tld sumone els.u tld her sumthn tt made me feel hurt k?
reason number ONE why i applied despite being late: i tot u wanted me there.
evrythn u said made me feel lik u wanted me there.
bt who wld hv known?u tld her:if phoebe goes,ok.evn if she doesn,it doesn matter.
helo?!! it doesn matter?! why didn u tel me earlier then??
i reali cant stand ur ingenuine self anymore. wil u stop behaving lik tt?? PLEASE??
i dun care abt e past. jus dun do this anymore. its hurting EVRYONE who REALI noes u.
seriously..i reali reali hate leaving in this kinda routine life.
a life whereby i get all worried abt sumone, try to help tt sumone,
get totali hurt by tt person who says:"u can help by not helping",
and then go back to feelin upset.
i dun wana wallow in self pity k? u tink its nice?! u tink i dun wana walk out of this??
why r u like this? why do u jus hv to show urself better than me??
why cant u jus be there for e person who loves u as well?
if u ask me why i bother so much, wel il tel u.
u shd noe very well how much i love him. as a brother,as a fren, WHATEVER.
im jus super concerned abt him.
bt however, he's only super concerned abt u. u and u alone. yet e main cause of his misery is u, jus like e main cause of my misery is him.
he's a guy. fine if he's insenstive. bt u. if ur as mature as u appear,or try to appear,then stop behaving lik tt.
please.plus, ur jus nt showing ur true self in front of evryone k? im reali reali sick n tired of watching u badmooding, when u hv NTHN to be upset abt k? u dun evn seem sad to leave ur frens,n e guy u supposedly like is crazy over u, uv got a good family, wats ur problem?? if u hv a problem, at least tel me when i ask u. why do u hv to jus tel me there's nthn when u keep badmoodin e whole day???
honestly, ur much luckier than me. ppl i love, dun exactly love me back. uv got tt. n tts sumthn u shd treasure.
i duno why i bother so much abt him, when he doesn appreciate it n he wans me to stop. u shd be REALI REALI happy tt uv got his attention n love. its sumthn il NEVER have. n its sumthn u shd cherish. i wld give anythn besides my Heavenly Father, in order to have him jus be concerned abt me. yet ur nt satisfied n nt happy with him pining for u day n night. if nt bcos i had God,i wld hv probably sunken into depression. it doesn feel good k? bt im fine, cos i dun need anyone bt Jesus. n one more thing..those stuf u say on ur blog..quit it..it jus makes ppl feel reali reali upset..please..im in a sense beggin u. tts it now. in a reali pissed off mood. sumone jus shut me up.//
<< *take my hand*
9:30 PM
back to the past; *
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Thursday, November 11, 2004
:: Izit just me??
izit jus me, or does she not care?
izit jus me, or izit reali not fair?
izit jus me, or m i jus a nobody?
izit jus me, or will i nvr be a sumbody?
izit jus me, or r u leaving?
izit jus me, or r u nt evn crying?
izit jus me, or r u hurtin sum1?
izit jus me, or do i love tt sum1?
izit jus me, or im nt able to help?
izit jus me, or m i jus not gd enuf?
izit jus me, or is there no way out?
izit jus me, or must i reali shout?
why m i so useless?
watchin him cry all night
why cant i do a thing?
when he can no longer sing?
I noe he finds me a nag
N i wana jus leave it all to God
But the least u could do is love him back
Cos ur e one tt he loves.
Izit just me? Tell me.
<< *take my hand*
9:16 PM
back to the past; *
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Saturday, November 06, 2004
:: i'll tell you the truth. im upset with u.
Everytime i think of you, i reali duno wats goin on
U were just so approchable
Jus lik evryone els,i tot u as a swan
Why's our frenshp now so deplorable.
U said u did it for a reason
I say it not all for me.
U did not, its all treason
U did it for urself reali.
This, is not out of spite. at all.
I just wana noe why evrythn's lik this now.
If u wana forget, why do u try to make me fall?
It's gettin tirin n painful,its makin me down.
U said u realized tt u were wrong abt me.
Tell me wats wrong abt me then?
I hv never changed. ask ppl arnd me.
I wun say uv changed, bt r u stil my fren?
Are u tryin to get back at me?
For sumthn u tink iv done?
Il tell u..all along..i did it for u.REALI
Do u reali tink i had fun?
As far as im concerned,
Hvn gone against my consience
All iv done is i hv learnt
God's love is as vast as the oceans
He carried me thru
He gave me His love
He showed me the truth
As he watched from above
Talking abt God,
U noe i love Him.
I wana shine for my Lord
Dont try to make me grow dim.
U make me feel horrid
N show urself a saint
My pride u hv buried
N my voice, uv made faint
U make me feel,
As if God loves u more than me.
Tt evn if i run with zeal
I dun deserve to have God help me.
God loves evryone equal
So i noe this is nt at all true
John 3:16, for God so loved the WORLD.
Not for God so loved you.
U already took away e person i so love.
Why do u have to take away my dignity too?
Even if compared to me, u reali are above
Do u hv to show it and make me blue?
U seem to wana overpower me.
To show me tt ur boss.
So my inferior self il see
To make me be at loss.
Stop it please.
I wun fight no more
U could do the least
And just let me soar
It hurts me deep
We were so close
But hate just has to, into u seep
And evrythn said, is just but a pose
Dont u see?
My dearest sister
It doesnt just take me
To heal the blister
For love to blossom
For light, hope and a future
A must is genuine concern
In order to paint the perfect picture
Will you? Please?
<< *take my hand*
6:29 PM
back to the past; *
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Friday, November 05, 2004
:: I will survive.
First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me
Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive
It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me
FREE!!!!!!!!! dearies: kelly, zai, madhi, suern, jamie koh, jerlyn, fei, oreo, ganesh, im fine now. =))) cos..i will survive with God's help. AMEN. =D..no more clinging on. its jus nt worth it. mm hmm. i mean it. free.
<< *take my hand*
1:47 PM
back to the past; *
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Thursday, November 04, 2004
*just had lunch n im seriously bloated.*
This week has been TOTALLY boring..
staying at home and cooking is not exactly a normal holiday.. although e time with the SVs was reali cool..n goin hysterical with part of e sisterhood on sunday, doin grand jetes etc was reali crazy..life is stil a bore at times..seeking God however proves otherwise =D
Wel..nex week will be swell!! jerlyn, jj, liz , cao..orchard..man..we'll probably get shushed again..thx to jerlyn huh..=p
Then its ice-skating with G2Bers!! i cant wait to see ganesh ice-skate..its probably gona be hilarious..wat more abt whilly? =p
and then there's ice skating the very nex day with jer and e rest again..gosh.
2M class outing on thursday!! yay!! super cant wait..its gona be like super fun..hey cryssie..do u tink we shd ask mrs raj along too?? it'll be quite fun u noe..haha..=p..bt REALLY too bad tt e choir girls'll be away in athens..hmm..
and Addams' family..oh yes addams' family..with jam as e head of e family..we'll probably be goin out the week after deepavali..then shern n suern'll be back..=D..hey! bt no more marche ok?? we're gettin too fat..n then we'll be so DEAD. =p..*lame again.*
anyone finished their hol hmwk? im half way thru..urgh. then il hv to scurry to e bookstore n get all e sec3 txtbks..
hmmm..n wel..to all e buds who've been so evr caring..thx ppl..wel..i tink iv learnt to let go. i hv to. especially when e person concerned is so ever adamant..n finds me annoying..rite??
mm hmm..wel..all those conversation windows are popping up!! gota scoot now..love ya all!
and..
to 2m~cya on thursday!! love y'all!! perfect class!! =D
to spdlite~cya on sunday!! lets pray for REVIVAL!
to g2b~ cya come tuesday =)
to e addams family~cya buds soon!! tc meanwhile..n we can probably go to sandra's house for badminton/tennis/tlkin nonsense/gorging ourselves silly soon..perhaps e week after too..
to e other bunch of wackos ~ cya all on monday!=D..bt PLS.no seoul garden.
to e sisterhood~maybe we can go out on friday huh? mms..tlk abt tt on sunday.
to e choir girls~ suern,shern,eliza,muriel,denise: hv fun in athens!! dun 4get to get sum souvenirs..=p..jus kiddin. jus hv loads of fun there n all e best with e competition!! God bless
to my dearest calamari sis: hey dearie..u dun seem very ok..wel..jus take care k? n keep smiling..love ya! =)
Thk God for all of u..=))
::ladidums
<< *take my hand*
1:20 PM
back to the past; *
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